Expressions of the mind
Cupid sh❤t
His arrow
right through a heart
Some things you ought to know
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A Pandora's Box

(Red) Tears.

Your average teenage girl ❤ Rachel, わたしはレイチェルです。
Emo = Emotive Hardcore
You know that, don't you? Drill it in your minds. No nonsense in front of me.
And Adam Lambert is the absolute best :D
I feel evil&guilty for first betraying MCR, then BLG. :O
#1. ADAM + LAMBERT = !GLAMBERT fan
#2. Heels over head with BOYSlikeGIRLS
#3. In a relationship with MYCHEMICALROMANCE

Damn you, you know it.
For Your Entertainment Love Drunk The Black Parade Fearless The Fame

Faith Hope Grace Love
Saturday, March 27, 2010
(No Subject)
This is how I live, this is what I give, you're the one I want tonight.

All my life, I've been waiting. Past my time, procrastinating.
PeiXuan: Thanks for the attempt at trying to revive it. Next time I encourage you spam instead. :D
Cos sweetheart, no-no-no, nobody kn-kn-knows me or can find, mmm, time to be mine(:
Failed attempt at trying to recall the lyrics. Haha.
There's this person from Moscow that's been lately coming to my blog directly. Getting goosebumps. Lol. Just kidding.
I feel so shit for not being anxious over my homework or my upcoming blocktest.
Damn it.
I feel so horrible today, empty and distracted.
Not wanting to do anything.
I need a target. And a human one too.
Not so obsessed with Adam today.
I just feel monotonous today. Nothing and anything.
Yeah yeah I'm not making sense myself.
As promised, or maybe I didn't promise at all, here's the story that made me cry.
But today, I feel so unemotional, I can't make out any feeling.
So three cheers to my un-emotionality.

母亲是静候的小站
自从父亲离开人世后,他就很少再回家了,尤其是近些年。偶尔,他也会想起那个独自待在家里,孤单且寂寞的继母。
  他6岁时,父亲以感情不和,和母亲离了婚,受到挫折的母亲很快就去世了。
  而父亲又给他娶回了一个继母。继母比母亲年轻漂亮很多,会讨好父亲。这一切让他觉得,继母就是导致父母离婚乃至母亲死去的罪魁祸首,因此,他开始对继母充满了怨恨,尽管继母一直对他都很好。
  一年后,继母生了一个漂亮的妹妹,他心中的怨恨更深了。虽然,逐渐长大的妹妹总是跟在他身后,甜甜地哥哥长哥哥短地叫,弹驱散不了他对继母的怨恨。
  有一天,妹妹在和他一起玩耍的时候,不慎掉进了一个废弃的水井里,当时只要他开口叫人,妹妹是完全可以被救出来的。但,他迟疑了,心想,就让她在井里多喝几口水吧,然后再叫人把她救上来,好泄自己心头之恨。这么一想,他就先跑到一边玩去了,这一玩就把妹妹还在井里等人救的事给忘个精光了。等到继母问他,妹妹在哪里时,他才惊出一身冷汗。
  面对妹妹紧闭的眼睛和僵硬的身体,继母只是一个劲儿地哭,全然忘了责骂他,这让他一下子内疚了起来。
  失去女儿的继母,一如既往地操持着家务,只是,对他既不太冷也不太热,他对继母亦是。他和继母,只有父亲在的时候,才会偶尔彼此说上几句不冷不热的话。
  日子就在这种不冷不热的气氛中进行着。后来,他考上大学,走上社会,远离了父亲和继母。见得少了,自然也就不用在情感上顾虑太多。他想,只要父亲在,他和继母就不会有什么纠葛。
  可没想到的是,父亲却突然患上了癌症,父亲咽下最后一口气时,他正在往家里赶的路上。关于父亲临终前交代了些什么,他一点都不知道。办完父亲后事,同族的一个堂叔,把他拉到一边,说,你父亲死时最不放心的就是你继母,他说,自己在的时候,你看在他的面子上,待继母还可以,他这一走,就保不准……他知道父亲的意思,是要他待继母好一点。
  为了让泉下的父亲心安,他也有意地向继母示好,更何况,他对继母也有很大的愧疚。虽然很少回去,但他也会隔三差五地给继母寄些钱,一年也会打上好几次电话,虽然通话很程序化、很简单,但毕竟都做过了。要不是这次公司临时派他南下出差,火车正好要在他家附近的一个小站停靠5分钟,他可能很难会想起这么多的往事。
  小站越来越近了,他的心一下子敏感了起来。以前每次回家,父亲都会带着继母早早地站在站台上等他;每次走时,丈亲和继母也同样会站在站台上,朝他使劲挥手。以前,他不在乎他们接送,尤其是继母。可今天不一样了,父亲没了,继母也不可能在。
  他突然很想继母。继母也是母亲呀,继母在,他就不是一个没有母亲的孩儿……火车就在他的这种复杂思绪中,在小站戛然停下,他推开窗户,想朝外看看。
  这是寒冬腊月的凌晨四五点,长长的站台上,除了执勤的铁路交警,没有一个人,显得冷清而寂静,这让他更加伤感,他与故乡匆匆相遇,却又是这般的凄凉冷清。没有熟悉的亲人,也没有阳光的喧哗。
  他在心里重重地叹了一口气,然后打算将视线收回,可就在这时,他突然看见前面的站台上,来了一个推着流动售货车的老妇人,她一边推着车,一边挨个敲乘客的窗口,以此来兜售车上的食品,老妇人的头被一块厚实的毛巾包裹着,显得非常孱弱。因为没有戴手套,她推车的双手被冻得通红、发肿。
  买东西的人很少,因此,那老妇人很快就来到他的窗口前,就在他和老妇人对视的一刹那,他惊呆了,她居然是自己的继母!她怎么会变成这个样子?她又是何时在小站当起了小商贩?
  与此同时,继母也很快认出了他,她情不自禁地说了一句,我在这卖了四年多的货,天天想看我儿,今天,今天真看到了……
  还没有等他回应继母的话,火车已经开始缓缓启动了,此时的继母也一下子慌了,不再说话,而是拼命地朝他手里塞矿泉水、饼干、鸭爪、方便面,一边塞,一边推着车跟着火车跑。
可火车还是跑起来,弱小的继母很快就被甩开了,再也看不见了。就在那一刹那,他所有的矜持和自尊,轰然倒塌——他把头伸出窗外,朝继母的方向,大声地喊着:“妈——妈!”

And these last few days, I had become infatuated with Pick U Up.
Strangely I didn't really like it much upon hearing. But the tune is stuck. And stuck there in my brain it shall be.
Fever, Music Again, Down The Rabbit Hole, If I Had You, Sleepwalker, Whataya Want From Me, No Boundaries, Voodoo, Time For Miracles, For Your Entertainment, Strut, Sure Fire Winners, Master Plan, Soaked, Broken Open, crap. I can't remember the last two. I just write according to what I remember. Damn damn. Ohmygosh I can't believe I forgot about A Loaded Smile and Aftermath! Damn damn damn!
Well now my emotions are coming back. Adam helps a lot, especially in making my day better. Just listening to his songs help...

Usual drills. :D (See my emotions are coming back! :DDDD Adam! *screams*)

Step right up to the freaky & tangible at 11:49 PM :D Back to top?
Monday, March 22, 2010
花为谁哭,我为谁悲

一个朋友告诉我,他哭了,为了一个女孩。
“你一定很爱很爱她吧。”
“是爱到不知道怎么办才好。”
“是吗?”
“男孩在你面前哭说明他已经快要窒息了,如果你拉住他的手,他真的可以陪你走完一生;如果你放弃了他,他会很难再回到以前的自己。”

他的话音刚落,我心中突然很压抑……
想到了他 —— 那个曾经为我哭泣的男孩。
第一次,我决定离开他。他对我说,只要我幸福。我看见他强忍着泪水,我知道,转身时,他哭了。
第二次,我告诉他,我欺骗了他。他告诉我,会原谅我,因为他爱我。他抱着我哭了,我知道他一定很失望。
第三次,情人节。他紧紧地抱着我,对我说,不要离开他。他不让我看他的脸,我知道他哭了。最终,是他选择了离开。我知道,他是对我感到绝望了。也许是我错的太多,一切都无法挽回。我,也选择了离开。离开这个城市,逃避这里的一切。电话里,他哭泣着哀求我留下,但我却毅然决定离开。他哭了,也是最后一次为我哭……

如今,我们都变了。他变了,变得陌生,过去,对他而言,也许只是很傻。我变了,变得麻木,过去,对我而言,也许只是遗憾。
过去我的任性,曾无数次伤害了他。现在的他,已不会像过去那样对感情认真。我知道,一切都已改变。
如果,一切可以重新来过,我一定不会离开。不会离开值得一辈子去爱的人。

错过的爱, 最痛苦。

I read a story I'm gonna put it in my SIA, and it made me cry twice.
It was really touching, and when I told my mother, she cried too. And I told her in broken sentences, English mixed with Chinese, but it was that good.
It made two people cry.
Maybe I'll post the story one day.

PEIXUAN! I WANT THAT MAGAZINE! ADAM LAMBERT IS TOO SEXY TO MISS ;)
Heya! Usual drills. :D

Step right up to the freaky & tangible at 8:47 PM :D Back to top?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
You make me wanna
Listen to music again.

I ain't never met nobody better-er.

Wtheck. Now that I hear Kris Allen sing again, I think it sucks terribly.
There is NO EMOTION at all.
My gosh.
And they say Adam's doesn't come from the heart.
No Boundaries? Kris's one is like he just sings another random freaking damn song, that's all.
It's like he didn't even experience anything, and it has no emotion at all. He's like singing for the sake of singing.
I got so pissed off when some freaking idiot says that Adam is too theatrical, too overkill, and doesn't come from the heart.
[Censored]
Damn you seriously.
Kris Allen is young, he hasn't gone through much pain and laughter. How would he know what it is like to really "hold on"?
Kris is good in a certain way, but if anyone ever compares him with Adam, there isn't any fight.

Wanted to rant about Adam, but this stupid comment of some [censored] really caused me to be so pissed off.
But still,
I LOVE ADAM LAMBERT!

Step right up to the freaky & tangible at 10:34 PM :D Back to top?
Monday, March 15, 2010
Glamberts,
We are the sure fire winners!


~Adam, we love you. Thanks for coming to Singapore!

Argh.
Adam Lambert is soaking into my skin.
Love every inch of him.
His sexiness and hotness.
And the other side of him, the adorable sweet thing he is.
Sigh.
I am so obsessed.
INFATUATION.
I just go crazy thinking of him.
ADAM, you make me want to listen to music again!
Maybe this is how it feels like to really be obsessed with someone.
Like the way PeiXuan always goes crazy over some singer, and now I shall chide myself for doing the exact same thing.
Haha.
I WILL go to his concert the next time he comes again (:

Step right up to the freaky & tangible at 3:57 PM :D Back to top?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Adam Lambert!
YOU ARE SO AWESOME.

He was apparently made by the hand of God and left in a basket at 'Wicked', where he was discovered, bestowed with a lifetime supply of black nail polish and raised by musical-theater queens.
- Entertainment Weekly
OMG OMG OMG!!!
Saw ADAM LAMBERT TODAY!!!
HE LOOKS SO DAMN AWESOME!
OMG HE'S SMILE IS SO SWEET (:
Waited like over 1.5 hour to get that autograph! :D
Legs are kinda sore now.
He had teal highlights in his hair, freaking awesome (:
He's accessories were damn nice, metal piece (:
He was wearing a (dark) grey shirt with white words! (:
OMG SO NICE.
And he's eyes were like so freaking beautiful
It was raining, and while we were like somewhere near the stage, Sleepwalker was being played. And then I heard the verse, "Outside the rain's falling down, there's not a drop that hits me." And I was like, lol.
Heard that it was his first time coming to South East Asia, and first stop: Singapore! :D
He was so nice kay.
Supposed to be 1 hour session, he extended it by 10min, so sweet right? (:
He's like so sweet, every time he signs one cover, he will smile and say thank you, with eye contact. So sweet right? Unlike some famous celebrities, he looks at you and smiles. (:
Imagine smiling for more than an hour. Wow. (:

Kinda sad we didn't get to take any photos of him. ):
They forbid us to take any, cos rushing for time.
Plus, I think I didn't exactly get back my original cover. It was kinda dented and dirty, and I kept mine super well. Anyway I bought it yesterday, it can't be in such a bad condition.

I SHALL KEEP HIS AUTOGRAPH AND STARE AT HIS PRETTY FACE.
:D

Step right up to the freaky & tangible at 8:06 PM :D Back to top?
Friday, March 12, 2010
I'm not asleep but I'm not awake,
After the way you loved me.

Shuutters!

OMGEE. Adam Lambert is going to be at Bugis TOMORROW.
I can't believe I bought it in less than 24 hours.

How many days had I not blogged? 18 days? So long ><
LSC was damn fun. Really touched while viewing the montage. (:
NIGHT TRAIL ROCKS.
Telematch and mind games were kinda fun, movie was awesome.
Hotel for Dogs should be watched! :D
Our class won 3rd for drama, 3rd for night trail and 1st for telematch! :]
Amazing race, eh, that was the one we were in charge of. I heard that our station, Guess the Food!, was quite popular (: Anyway you get to eat sweets and chocolates, who doesn't like it? :D

You really piss me off.
Do you honestly think that I am always wrong, that I am always the one who apologizes?
Who do you think you are?
Do you just take me for granted, that I am some pushover?
You said it yourself, then you get angry because I did what you said?
Well, I am sure glad that I get out of this freaking class next year.
I hope I do soon.
Can't stand your faces.


I enjoy savoring Adam's face.
He just looks so pretty. And charged with awesomeness. :D

Step right up to the freaky & tangible at 8:50 PM :D Back to top?
Adieu, Adieu

Traced Footprints

Crate and Barrel

November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010
Already History

dA not here... Cold crushed esteem. The devil Lost. I have not (No Subject) 花为谁哭,我为谁悲 You make me wanna Glamberts, Adam Lambert!
Drumrolls please!

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